i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
