I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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