did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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