I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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