I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
