How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
