So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize