can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
