I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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