But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just come out here and I will go home with you...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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