I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
