Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
