While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Found your dick twin last night
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
