1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There's always time for handjobs
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
