It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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