I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
handjob tips. give me some.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
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