I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
