Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
