I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
