It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize