My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
