why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize