the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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