I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
