Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
