So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
