By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
