guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Green mimosas i think yes
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
