You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
