i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize