I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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