We need to rekindle our bromance
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
