ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
