The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
