Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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