we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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