I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
