I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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