i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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