): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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