It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
