I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
