sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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