I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
