She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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