As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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