My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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