omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
