We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
