I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize