There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
