Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
bring money and cleavage
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
