Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
