you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
