Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
