Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
