sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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