Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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