Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize