Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
