I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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