i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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