do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
they're like a gay fantastic four
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
