Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I want to make a zoo with you.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
