you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
