he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
