If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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