I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
