Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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