May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
