i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
