4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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