Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
