I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
